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    ADHD Emotional Paralysis: Why We Shut Down When We Care the Most

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You are at:Home » Managing ADHD and Anxiety Together: Real-World Tips, Treatments, and How to Find What Works for You
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Managing ADHD and Anxiety Together: Real-World Tips, Treatments, and How to Find What Works for You

GhadaBy GhadaNovember 28, 202401414 Mins Read
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Living with ADHD is already like juggling fire. Add anxiety, and suddenly the fire is juggling you.

When both are happening at once, your brain isn’t just distracted — it’s spinning in five directions and catastrophizing all of them. You’re overstimulated, frozen, spiraling, and pretending everything’s fine — all before breakfast.

This isn’t a blog about fixing it. This is a blog about recognizing it, living with it, and figuring out what actually helps without becoming another task.


💥 The ADHD + Anxiety Double Whammy

According to CHADD, up to 50% of adults with ADHD also experience an anxiety disorder. That’s… a lot of us.

They often feed into each other:

  • ADHD causes missed deadlines → leads to anxiety
  • Anxiety causes avoidance → makes ADHD symptoms worse
  • You beat yourself up for both → welcome to the shame spiral

via GIPHY


🪞 The Masking Trap

One of the most exhausting parts is masking — pretending everything is fine while your nervous system is in full DEFCON mode.

You over-prepare. You people-please. You hold it together in public and crash in private.

ADDA describes ADHD masking as the emotional labor of hiding symptoms — especially common in women, late-diagnosed adults, and high achievers who were “fine” until they weren’t.

Masking doesn’t just drain you. It delays diagnosis, support, and self-compassion.

via GIPHY


😰 When Everything Feels Urgent (And Nothing Gets Done)

Sometimes ADHD looks like forgetting appointments. Sometimes anxiety makes you hyper-aware of everything you might forget. Together? You’re frozen, yet racing inside.

This is what my ADHD + anxiety combo feels like:

  • Knowing I need to do something, but panicking too much to start
  • Starting five things, finishing none
  • Imagining catastrophic outcomes for sending an email one day late
  • Avoiding tasks that I care about… and hating myself for it

via GIPHY


🧠 What’s Helped Me (So Far)

Here are a few things that have actually helped me soften the chaos — slowly, inconsistently, and imperfectly.

1. Name What’s Actually Happening

Before I can help myself, I have to pause and ask:

Is this ADHD executive dysfunction, or is this anxiety hijacking me?
Am I distracted, or am I scared?

This doesn’t solve anything — but it gives me enough clarity to choose the next small thing.

2. Do a Non-Productive Brain Dump

When I’m spiraling, I grab paper (or my notes app) and dump everything out — not to sort, not to plan, just to see.

If I try to organize it, the anxiety gets worse. But naming the chaos helps me externalize it.

🔗 If you want to try this, I wrote more about it here: How to Use Brain Dumps with ADHD


3. Let Some Things Be “Not Now”

Not every coping tool works in the moment. I used to force journaling, breathing exercises, or CBT tricks when I was mid-panic… which just made me feel worse when they didn’t work.

Now, I keep a “not now” list. Things I can come back to later. This includes:

  • Explaining myself
  • Problem-solving
  • Anything that starts with “should”

4. Get Curious (Not Judgmental)

I learned to ask:

“What is this anxious feeling trying to protect me from?”
“What does my brain think is at risk?”

And sometimes… the answer is “feeling like a failure.” Or “not being seen.” Or “being too much.”

This is where the self-reflection pages in my free ADHD self-discovery journal genuinely helped.

I used the prompts to figure out what calm actually feels like — instead of chasing what I thought it should be.


🔍 Hidden ADHD Symptoms That Feed Anxiety

We don’t talk enough about the non-obvious ADHD traits that fuel anxiety, especially in women and late-diagnosed adults.

ADDitude lists some of these overlooked signs:

  • Emotional intensity
  • Rejection sensitivity
  • Perfectionism masking procrastination
  • Chronic shame, even when things go well

If any of these hit hard, you’re not making it up — you’re making sense of it.

via GIPHY


🌿 Gentle Reframes That Actually Helped

These aren’t solutions. They’re mindset shifts that gave me more space to exist with both ADHD and anxiety:

  • I can rest before I burn out.
  • Progress doesn’t have to look like momentum.
  • Forgetting isn’t failing — it’s feedback from my brain.
  • Avoidance is sometimes protection, not sabotage.

via GIPHY


🧠 Related Post

Want to reset your weekends to feel more calming and less spirally?
🔗 Read: The Ultimate Weekend Routine for ADHD →


💬 Final Thought

You’re not broken because you feel everything all at once.
You’re not weak for needing slower mornings or longer recoveries.

If your ADHD comes with a side of anxiety (or vice versa), you deserve strategies that honor both. Not more pressure. Not more fixing.

Just more room to breathe — and be.

via GIPHY

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Previous ArticleThe Ultimate Guide to ADHD Supplements: Vitamins, Minerals, and Real-World Benefits
Next Article The Ultimate Weekend Routine for ADHD: Relax, Recharge, and Get Ready for the Week
Ghada

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  • Home
  • About
  • The Journey
    1. Naming It
    2. Calming It
    3. Living It
    Featured

    ADHD Emotional Paralysis: Why We Shut Down When We Care the Most

    By GhadaDecember 9, 2025
    Recent

    ADHD Emotional Paralysis: Why We Shut Down When We Care the Most

    Raised to Hold It In: Why Some Cultures Fear Emotional Honesty

    How I Use Brain Dumps to Survive My Life (Without Crying Into My Laptop)

  • Tools

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